More thinking

I was looking for one of my notebooks from school and I found a few of my diplomas. The one who puts a smile on my face is the one who taught me how to make my ideas into reality. My university diplomas are also there but they don’t mean that much to me. Maybe because we appreciate more the one which was harder, which felt challenging. The one which made you see your capabilities and strong character. One thing I know, I made more thinking this past couple of years than all my years at the university. 

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I don’t know when and where I will find it- but I am sure I will.

Someone said I should meet her. She is well known for her embroidery talent- and I was hoping she could help me. I set a list of questions a night before and wrote a “to-do list” in case she didn’t have an answer. It made a difference. I was less disappointed- because I knew what I needed to do next. I don’t know when and where I will find it- but I am sure I will. 

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After all it not another top

We were sitting at dinner yesterday night. Me and my younger brother and sister. I told them about the difficulties, the struggles, and the happiness. Even if it sounds like they can’t go together- for me, they do. But they wanted to know about the bottom line, "When will you see the money?"- and I didn’t have an answer. I get anxious when I have no answers, but I shouldn’t be. That is exactly why I am here. After all, it not another top. 

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I guess I am stronger than I think

I woke up today thinking if I should go to work today or not. Maybe taking a weekend off will be good for me. 10 minutes later I was dressed and ready to go. After all, I knew exactly why it was so hard. A lot of changes to make, big questions with no answers (yet), and a road longer than I thought. But I am here. And I am happy. I guess I am stronger than I think.

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That is exactly why I shouldn’t stop

I am sick. After all, it been a tough week so I wasn’t surprised. I was laying in bad, knowing I will have to adopt some new habits, new characters in order to survive. I will have to take a chance on people, believing they are on my side because I can’t do it by myself. I need to invest my money and avoid overthinking. And remember, when things get tougher, that is exactly why I shouldn’t stop.

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This has nothing to do with you

He was nice, kind, and polite. I talked a little and listened a lot. He was sharing his story. From having his own business to managing his parent's shop. It seems life wasn’t easy. “It is a tough world,” he said, worrying about me not having a plan B’. I sat in my car thinking “This has nothing to do with you. He was SAYING IT to himself. Reassuring he was making the right decision”.

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Another day, another comment

“You should probably be working for someone, I don’t think it’s for you”. Another day, another comment from someone I don't even know. Sometimes I feel like it is doing me justice, as if I am getting extra energy from it. It shouldn't be like that. No comment, good or bad should impact my behavior. As my new dear friend Yoav said to me today “even if a million people will tell me I can’t I would still believe in myself. Remember there are billion people in the world”.

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