Crying.

I'm crying when I find drafts you left me, like a paper pattern of pants you made me from kitchen paper towels. I cry between 5 pm to 7 pm because those were our hours. I cry for not fixing your computer at all cost. For not buying you new fabrics insted of giving you my leftovers. I sit and I cry. 

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Your name.

Your name was on that little Bilble. The bible you used to read every week after learning how to read in your late 80's. Now your name is on that cover. I sat in the place you loved the most wondering which chair was yours, what would you have said about all the people showing up, about covering my sewign machine with leopard print, about life without you. 

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Please come to back.

I'm leaving you a chair next to my bed. I hope you will come to visit me at night. Telling me you are ok now, that nothing is painful anymore. That you will guide me and love me forever. 

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I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for every call I was mad for no reason, for every visit I was in a hurry, for every time I made you worry. How will I be able to sew without you?. You were always a call away for advice and comforting words. No one loved me like you do. I will miss you forever. 

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I will love you forever.

I will love you forever. I will miss you forever. And I'm not going to let you down. You are my favorite person in the world grandmother, I hope I will know how to live without you.

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Love you forever.

When you don't feel like writing, write. When you don't feel like drawing, draw. When you don't feel like sewing, sew. She would want you to keep going. 

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You better keep going.

God will help her, and he will help you too. He always does. Keep going.

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