No sorry note, no nothing

If I’ll tell you I was at the garage today, would you believe me? I wouldn’t be surprised if you say "no" because we didn’t drive anywhere these past two months- but I did. Someone broke my car mirror. Broke it and a drove off. No sorry note, no nothing.  It was a reminder that life never really stopped in the first place. The fact that we were home doesn’t mean everything can’t be broken. Today a got a reminder of it. 

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One day at a time

I wonder what they think. I mean, I am doing it for a year now. I have a few supporters and plenty of skeptics. The ones who what to tell you on the phone that they were right. They want to hear it is hard and you are struggling. I am not. I don’t care about your kind words nor do I care about your bad behavior. My happiness is affected by my progress, education and accomplishments. One day at a time.

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Nothing here is easy

“Of course you want to go back there. They know you, they respect you, they trust you- it is easier to go back to a place like that” My mom said after I mumbled I want to go back, back to the open space. She was wrong. I will never choose something because it is “easier”. Yes, starting over in a new place will not be easy but so as staying in the same place. Easier was never my thing, after all I am here…

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It's not a game of boredom, it's life

If you were looking outside your window today, you saw people. As the restrictions were off, people were out. From now everywhere you will go, people will follow you. They will check your temperature, take your social and phone number- because that is the only way to half-freedom. Will you spend money on things that aren’t necessary? Will you change your habits or it is just bigger than you? will you go back to who you were 6 weeks ago or not? I wonder if we learned something about us, about life. In the end, it's not a game of boredom, it's life.

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I have it all inside my head

I took my stuff from the studio today. I am not ready to go back yet. I am too scared. I took the heart I got from a friend next to my sewing machine, my books from the locker, my emotions from my brain. I used to get attached to places. Looking back and reminisce. Today I did it differently. No slow motions, no over thinking, no emotions, and believe me, it was my favorite spot. I was there, every day for the past year. On this table I sketched my dreams who became a reality. I don’t know if I will go back. I just know I have all I need inside my head. The memories, the joy, and the capabilities. No matter where I am.

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The only way to freedom

A little bird got stuck in our fireplace stove today. How did she get there? I have no idea but I do know it is small, dark and stressful. I felt for her. I mean, who doesn’t want to be free?!. After a few hours and plenty of strategies we took her out and she tweeted the whole way to freedom. You could tell she was scared but this unpleasantness, was a necessary step to freedom. Maybe we should think so too. We wonder how we got here, it’s unpleasant but that is the only way to freedom. Stay home.

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Let's talk about love

Let's talk about love. What do I know about love? Nothing- And I wonder how will that go after this era in life. Will I go out to a bar wondering if someone sneezes close to my face. Will I meet you in a restaurant wondering if the people cooking our food were sick or not. Work keeps me busy, a perfect excuse justifying the fact I am running from another aspect in life, not less important. I wonder how it turns out to be because- I want to. Love.

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