We act like it was never here

We act like it was never here. We forgot about the pandemic who killed so many, who threatened us so harshly. When they opened the gates people forgot, and the mentality was “it is not going to happen to me”. I am Scared. And you should too. I didn’t sit in my house for so many months for nothing nor do I need to remind you how to behave. This is not a game, but you are acting like it is.

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Home is where my mind is

Home is where my mind is. I am not sure how I feel here yet. It is not been easy. It brings a whole new me to the table. It is not the high tech me, but it's not a human resources job either. It is different and I have to be ok with it. No matter what the vibe is, know you are not attached to a place nor a title. As long as you keep on thinking- nothing bad can happen.

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I wonder how it feels

I wonder how it feels to make a room for someone else, Someone who will bring my vision to life. Tomorrow I will give him four of my designs, cut and ready to be put together. I have packet each design in a separate bag, with a picture clarifying what the result should look like. Maybe I need to trust them. Knowing they are experts in their own fields- only great things can happen. Now it's the time to let go. 

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Who knows if the “else” is better

Sometimes I get stuck on the “if only”. If only I started younger, if only I jumped sooner, if only I said "no" to the wrong offers. I would be somewhere else. But who knows if the “else” is better? who knows you didn’t make the right call? At the end of the day, we can’t tell. We can say we made mistakes and took the wrong decisions but we can never tell what would have happened if we chose the other path. This is nothing but a distraction. Mind your own business, your challenges, and your obsessions. Anything extra it’s just a distraction. 

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I just need to breathe when I hear it

“You must be hiding from something. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here, working so hard” she said. Another day, another statement from a girl at the open space. Maybe I am. But I don’t need you to tell me, what I already know nor do I need you to send me a job description when you know I already have a job. You may feel it is not a “real” job, but that has nothing to do with me. These are your feelings. I just need to breathe when I hear it.

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This is real life

“You should ask for a student discount”, he said. “I am asking for a student discount for years”, I laughed. It is not only about the money or that feeling of making a good deal. The student hat protects you, allows you to keep on jumping “in-between” things, making mistakes, and take less responsibility. But I am not there anymore. I am ready for criticism, everything is on me and that is how it is supposed to be. Now it is time to say goodbye. You are not a student anymore. This is your real life.  

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I can dream but not as big as I should

Short term or long term goals. Sometimes it's hard to see your goal. I am walking towards it every day but small steps, short term goals are guiding me. I can’t see the long term goals yet. We all know we live in an upside world, but I don’t think it is about that. I think I have always been that way. I can dream. But not as big as I should. Maybe now is the time to start. 

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