I guess I am stronger than I think

I woke up today thinking if I should go to work today or not. Maybe taking a weekend off will be good for me. 10 minutes later I was dressed and ready to go. After all, I knew exactly why it was so hard. A lot of changes to make, big questions with no answers (yet), and a road longer than I thought. But I am here. And I am happy. I guess I am stronger than I think.

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That is exactly why I shouldn’t stop

I am sick. After all, it been a tough week so I wasn’t surprised. I was laying in bad, knowing I will have to adopt some new habits, new characters in order to survive. I will have to take a chance on people, believing they are on my side because I can’t do it by myself. I need to invest my money and avoid overthinking. And remember, when things get tougher, that is exactly why I shouldn’t stop.

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This has nothing to do with you

He was nice, kind, and polite. I talked a little and listened a lot. He was sharing his story. From having his own business to managing his parent's shop. It seems life wasn’t easy. “It is a tough world,” he said, worrying about me not having a plan B’. I sat in my car thinking “This has nothing to do with you. He was SAYING IT to himself. Reassuring he was making the right decision”.

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Another day, another comment

“You should probably be working for someone, I don’t think it’s for you”. Another day, another comment from someone I don't even know. Sometimes I feel like it is doing me justice, as if I am getting extra energy from it. It shouldn't be like that. No comment, good or bad should impact my behavior. As my new dear friend Yoav said to me today “even if a million people will tell me I can’t I would still believe in myself. Remember there are billion people in the world”.

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Gut feeling

Sometimes It feels like I am looking for more problems. Didn't find what you are looking for? say "yes" to what they have got- and move on. But not me, be sure I will make a million calls, make another test, ask another person. This is not a yes-no question. It is not like the parking ticket I got today, which made me go outside and measure if I crossed the line or not. There is no right answer to that- there is only a gut feeling- and it says “you can make it work”.

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Lucky me

she said “remember this conversation- You can do this”. After a rough weekend, I needed to hear it from someone else rather than myself. I am not sure how much money she is going to charge me- but she is the woman I want to work with. She is going to teach me, listen to my ideas, and together we can make my dreams a reality. That is the foundation I was looking for- and I found it.

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Where happiness comes from

If someone is watching me through the security camera, he will probably think I am crazy. Jumping from table to table, no brakes, 7 days a week. Smiling, staring at the mannequin, looking through the window- thinking. I don’t think I am crazy. I am happy. My head is constantly thinking for a better solution, better design, better decision- and I guess that is exactly where happiness comes from.

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