Watch out.

Sometimes I make it harder, for nothing. A simple task like going to get some fabric, drop off designs for laser-cut will turn into a big, never-ending stories inside my head. I will start with a list a day before, I would think of endless problems- but in reality, it turns out easy and full of laughter. You just add yourself extra work for nothing. Watch out. 

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Smart questions

"Are you leaving already”?. I used to always give a “smart” answer. “I was here all weekend”, “I was the first person to enter the building". This is not a competition nor a place to let your ego answer back. I don’t need to share my schedule or commitment to my work to no one. I just wish you would ask me smart questions instead. 

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Sharing stories

Sometimes you share. You share because it makes you feel better. Because you trust the person in front of you. Because that is what friends are for. He had tears in his eyes, and I felt bad. Bad for telling him, bad for sharing what was not necessary. Those stories have no solution, no purpose. So as the act of sharing them. 

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No need to hurry.

I used to be in a constant hurry. Hurry to get back come. To take a shower. To plan my schedule for the next day. Now, I don’t feel in a hurry anymore. I am where I want to be. I saw my grandmother today, after work. Wanting her approval on one of the samples. Looking at her. The calm “me”. Enjoying this time, together. Realizing I used to rush the wrong things. 

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"That's o.k” is not a real answer. Anymore.

Could I choose better? Did I handle it properly? at what point during the day I was less productive? I used to ask myself these questions and give an immediate answer -“That is ok. One thing is better than nothing”. Now, it is not a proper answer. I have to point out the specific issue, think about it, and figure out how to prevent/overcome/ deal with it, for next time. “That's o.k” is not a real answer. Anymore.

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Optimistic

“You will not be that optimistic in the future. It goes away when you get older”. A nice lady, from one of the government offices mentioned in our random call. She was nice, generous, and managed to give me a brief about her career, children, and marriage in a few minutes. “I was optimistic before I got married,” she said, her daughter was too- but not anymore. I am optimistic about life, about love, and my dreams. I feel bad you lost yours but hope I will never lose mine.

 

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Or it’s just a great story I tell myself

“I need to think about it”, he said- and I was happy. He saw it, my ongoing stitch dilemma and he took some time to think about it. After all these years in the fashion industry, you could tell he was really trying to figure it out. Trying to give me a good answer – maybe it means I am really on to something or it’s just a great story I tell myself. 

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